Message from Bill Maher
I really wanted to write down Bill Maherâ€™s closing comments from Real Time with Bill Maher a while back but missed it. Luckily I ran across someone more on the ball, MacMasterSkully:
Mr. President, this job cant be fun for you any more. Theres no more money to spend–you used up all of that. You cant start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboards bare, the credit cards maxed out. No ones speaking to you. Mission accomplished.
Now its time to do what youve always done best: lose interest and walk away.. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. Its time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what youre saying: theres so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please dont. I know, I know. Theres a lot left to do. Theres a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.
But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. Youve performed so poorly Im surprised that you havent given yourself a medal. Youre a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.
On your watch, weve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe youre just not lucky. Im not saying you dont love this country. Im just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.
So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: Take a hint.