The Morning News – The Non-Expert: Diet:

“…

Vegetarianism/Veganism

Fun with food and politics! “Vegetarians” don’t eat animals. No! They only eat non-animals (this includes french fries). Vegans don’t eat animals or, more significantly, things produced from animals. Such as urine.

(Vegetarian and vegan diets are usually considered healthy, as they’re very low in bones, which when swallowed can kill you.)

Vegetarians are generally cool people, so it would make sense you’d want to be part of the pack. And here’s a helpful tip: You can claim to be a “vegetarian” and still eat fish. And chicken. And, you know, really lean red meat. Your vegetarian friends will be so proud you’re one of the gang, they’re bound to look over all the hooves in your garbage.

Veganism, on the other hand, is pretty tough to fake. Plus they know how to fight. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

…”