California is a more precise, exacting place than most… and I think it has good reasons for this behavior, in that they do a lot of exactingly precise things in a very particular manner. Everything must be “just so”.

Saying “I would appreciate it if you…” is the lingistically correct, formally accepted professional way to say “in order for me to accomplish my goals, I need things this way.” It’s not really about saying thank you, particularly. It’s about formality, professionalism, and politeness.

Personal appreciation is shown in other ways, as appropriate by the kind of relationship. For instance, a top-tier restaurant might develop very close personal relationships with their key suppliers in order to get THE best foods, and a supplier might wine and dine or otherwise express their appreciation for their customers, in order to hold on to their business.

Of course, if the professional relationship isn’t working and you don’t get the things you would appreciate, you bring your business somewhere else, and, ideally, find someone who does meet your oftentimes high expectations. Indeed, the more business-oriented and competition-rich free market environment you have, the more common it is that those high levels of expectations will be considered pretty normal and acceptable.

What you see in the South, besides an adoption of a less linguistically proper colloquialism, is an emphasis on the personal relationship you’ve built up with a given individual who can get you what you need. Establishing these kinds of relationships becomes increasingly important, especially when there might only a few people you can go through who can get you what is desired, and you want your needs to be a priority.

Of course, then you have to deal with another issue, as to how real or meaningful these relationships are when push comes to shove, such as when a competitor starts trying to get your supplier to put them first.

It’s no coincidence, I suspect, that the two series “Dallas” and “Dynasty” took place in previously rural parts of the country that experienced their versions of a gold rush with oil at the center of fortunes, with constantly shifting loyalties and alliances. Relationships were rarely ever *just* about personal friendships and loyalties. The shows reflected their disproportionately rural audiences, which saw elements of their own lives. What happens when traditions collide with change and constantly shifting interpersonal dynamics?

For example…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MUv0VdYGX4
J.R. goes hat-in-hand to a company he needs, only to get emasculated by a big money foreigner who is a *gasp* woman!

The South has to deal with a lot of insecurities related to change, and how it is changing their way of life. More and more, things need to be “just so”, with increased regulation, increased competition, more outsiders, higher stakes, and greater demands. It’s part of what it takes to compete nowadays.

It’s kind of understandable that they ridicule the whole “vente latte – half caf, half decaf” kind of thing, because it both shows not only their disdain for such demands… which are expressed as being effeminate, but it also reflects their discomfort with the fact that they are increasingly having to cater to such “just so” demands. It increasingly reflects their own feelings of emasculation and helplessness in the face of change.

I love California for the fact that much of it is diverse, innovative, creative, very supportive of change, and oftentimes very precise in good ways. (Such as food and restaurants, for example.) That said, it’s not always good at showing appreciation to each other. That’s something that everyone needs to do on a personal level, and it’s something that’s all-too-often easy to forget amidst the rush of life.

Things go a little faster here than most places… and while that’s good if you like change, it’s not always the most comfortable situation if you’d rather just be.